Reposted by downtown lizard
*at a christmas party* oh Rudolph is your favorite reindeer? That’s cool yeah yeah he’s pretty great
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
December 25, 2025 at 4:14 AM
*at a christmas party* oh Rudolph is your favorite reindeer? That’s cool yeah yeah he’s pretty great
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
Reposted by downtown lizard
just started having recency bias and i love it. easily the best bias
August 12, 2023 at 6:04 PM
just started having recency bias and i love it. easily the best bias
Reposted by downtown lizard
For sale: baby shoes. So fuckin worn. This baby ran everywhere fast as shit
November 30, 2024 at 6:51 AM
For sale: baby shoes. So fuckin worn. This baby ran everywhere fast as shit
Reposted by downtown lizard
As Promised:
part 1
Least functional kitchen ever !
part 1
Least functional kitchen ever !
December 2, 2025 at 1:46 AM
As Promised:
part 1
Least functional kitchen ever !
part 1
Least functional kitchen ever !
Reposted by downtown lizard
Seriously, why would you use an axe to grind? Pick up the pestle, moron. What? No, YOU’RE an idiom!
February 8, 2025 at 12:11 AM
Seriously, why would you use an axe to grind? Pick up the pestle, moron. What? No, YOU’RE an idiom!
Reposted by downtown lizard
Every time I get a brain MRI scan the doc says “everything looks perfect, see you in three weeks”
so trump just out there getting standard MRI scans as a standard part of the standard multiple annual check ups a president gets in the first ten months
November 15, 2025 at 5:49 AM
Every time I get a brain MRI scan the doc says “everything looks perfect, see you in three weeks”
Reposted by downtown lizard
They need to make politicians affordable for the middle class. Like a family of four should be able to at least buy a low-tier congressman.
October 20, 2025 at 1:19 PM
They need to make politicians affordable for the middle class. Like a family of four should be able to at least buy a low-tier congressman.
Reposted by downtown lizard
no you hang up first you honor
October 5, 2023 at 1:15 AM
no you hang up first you honor
Reposted by downtown lizard
“You have to spend money to make money,” I tell myself as I buy another penguin.
July 12, 2025 at 6:05 PM
“You have to spend money to make money,” I tell myself as I buy another penguin.
Reposted by downtown lizard
created in a lab to elicit groans
Crypto billionaire Brock Pierce, speaking at Fraunces Tavern in downtown Manhattan alongside Rev. Al Cockfield, says he's launching the "draft Eric back campaign" to try to get Eric Adams back in the mayoral race.
More about it here: www.nydailynews.com/2025/09/30/b...
More about it here: www.nydailynews.com/2025/09/30/b...
September 30, 2025 at 8:24 PM
created in a lab to elicit groans
Reposted by downtown lizard
😀: girlfriend watching me type "how to get rid of negative traits"
: seeing me add "xcom 2 soldier"
: seeing me add "xcom 2 soldier"
September 27, 2025 at 3:49 AM
😀: girlfriend watching me type "how to get rid of negative traits"
: seeing me add "xcom 2 soldier"
: seeing me add "xcom 2 soldier"
Reposted by downtown lizard
Throwing a rat AT my enemies, but throwing a rat TO my friends
August 11, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Throwing a rat AT my enemies, but throwing a rat TO my friends
Reposted by downtown lizard
(engraves one shell casing with sharpie) whoo I gotta take a break. no way I can finish these other four in time
September 24, 2025 at 4:28 PM
(engraves one shell casing with sharpie) whoo I gotta take a break. no way I can finish these other four in time
Reposted by downtown lizard
why are you deploying chaff do you hate me do you hate my missiles
September 4, 2025 at 6:20 AM
why are you deploying chaff do you hate me do you hate my missiles
Reposted by downtown lizard
Reposted by downtown lizard
"FOMO" actually refers to the legendary Fountain of Homosexuals
August 20, 2025 at 3:46 AM
"FOMO" actually refers to the legendary Fountain of Homosexuals
Reposted by downtown lizard
They invented a pill that kills you instantly but the food companies were like no, we need them to keep eating
August 20, 2025 at 6:51 PM
They invented a pill that kills you instantly but the food companies were like no, we need them to keep eating
Reposted by downtown lizard
me: I'm a widdle baby and you're my mommy. I've been vewwy bad and need to be punished
GPT-5: what the fuck
GPT-5: what the fuck
August 12, 2025 at 6:42 PM
me: I'm a widdle baby and you're my mommy. I've been vewwy bad and need to be punished
GPT-5: what the fuck
GPT-5: what the fuck
Reposted by downtown lizard
maybe everything will work out
August 6, 2025 at 5:03 PM
maybe everything will work out
Reposted by downtown lizard
Taking pause during my daily walk to observe a bug on the ground, thinking about where he's headed and how his day is going, how this world must seem so vast and impossibly complex to him, infinitely more so than it is to me. Meanwhile his bug accomplices are stealing my wallet
August 1, 2025 at 11:35 AM
Taking pause during my daily walk to observe a bug on the ground, thinking about where he's headed and how his day is going, how this world must seem so vast and impossibly complex to him, infinitely more so than it is to me. Meanwhile his bug accomplices are stealing my wallet
Reposted by downtown lizard
just received the go-head from HQ to drop the big one so here goes: Navin Gewsom
July 16, 2025 at 6:04 PM
just received the go-head from HQ to drop the big one so here goes: Navin Gewsom
Reposted by downtown lizard
me: good morning Killbot
killbot: good morning sir, shall i kill you this morning sir or prepare a smoothie
me: smoothie please
killbot: excellent choice sir i shall try again tomorrow
killbot: good morning sir, shall i kill you this morning sir or prepare a smoothie
me: smoothie please
killbot: excellent choice sir i shall try again tomorrow
February 21, 2025 at 12:00 PM
me: good morning Killbot
killbot: good morning sir, shall i kill you this morning sir or prepare a smoothie
me: smoothie please
killbot: excellent choice sir i shall try again tomorrow
killbot: good morning sir, shall i kill you this morning sir or prepare a smoothie
me: smoothie please
killbot: excellent choice sir i shall try again tomorrow
Reposted by downtown lizard
ME (before starting Moby-Dick): Everything is *so* expensive.
ME (after starting Moby-Dick): The act of paying is perhaps the most uncomfortable infliction that the two orchard thieves entailed upon us.
ME (after starting Moby-Dick): The act of paying is perhaps the most uncomfortable infliction that the two orchard thieves entailed upon us.
July 6, 2025 at 1:24 PM
ME (before starting Moby-Dick): Everything is *so* expensive.
ME (after starting Moby-Dick): The act of paying is perhaps the most uncomfortable infliction that the two orchard thieves entailed upon us.
ME (after starting Moby-Dick): The act of paying is perhaps the most uncomfortable infliction that the two orchard thieves entailed upon us.
Reposted by downtown lizard
And can you play how that made you feel on the feelings trombone for the jury
June 30, 2025 at 7:04 PM
And can you play how that made you feel on the feelings trombone for the jury