Michael R
@michaelrobbins.bsky.social
Reposted by Michael R
the crossbow has to be one of the most “hey give me a second here” weapons of all time
December 7, 2025 at 3:58 AM
the crossbow has to be one of the most “hey give me a second here” weapons of all time
Reposted by Michael R
no no the toymaker is geppetto pinocchio is geppetto’s monster
November 13, 2025 at 9:17 AM
no no the toymaker is geppetto pinocchio is geppetto’s monster
Reposted by Michael R
If you had perfect attendance as a kid, I don't trust you as an adult
November 12, 2025 at 4:03 PM
If you had perfect attendance as a kid, I don't trust you as an adult
Reposted by Michael R
Pizza rolls are the band-aid on the broken arm that is being alive.
November 9, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Pizza rolls are the band-aid on the broken arm that is being alive.
Reposted by Michael R
“I’ll see what I can do,” or as I also like to say, “I won’t be doing anything”
October 23, 2025 at 11:40 AM
“I’ll see what I can do,” or as I also like to say, “I won’t be doing anything”
Reposted by Michael R
sorry i catcalled your dog
October 20, 2025 at 2:58 PM
sorry i catcalled your dog
Reposted by Michael R
i can't believe the rapture was only 4 weeks ago
October 20, 2025 at 9:15 PM
i can't believe the rapture was only 4 weeks ago
Reposted by Michael R
Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. The Monster was your English teacher, for making you analyse the text so thoroughly that it robbed you of the ability to enjoy it.
October 18, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. The Monster was your English teacher, for making you analyse the text so thoroughly that it robbed you of the ability to enjoy it.
Reposted by Michael R
“AI is going to replace you.”
I hope so. I can’t take this shit anymore.
I hope so. I can’t take this shit anymore.
October 17, 2025 at 4:18 AM
“AI is going to replace you.”
I hope so. I can’t take this shit anymore.
I hope so. I can’t take this shit anymore.
Reposted by Michael R
Person: nice ass
Me: thanks I think it’s round from clenching constantly from never-ending stress.
Me: thanks I think it’s round from clenching constantly from never-ending stress.
October 17, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Person: nice ass
Me: thanks I think it’s round from clenching constantly from never-ending stress.
Me: thanks I think it’s round from clenching constantly from never-ending stress.
Reposted by Michael R
Me: Every sandwich is an open-face sandwich unless you consume it rectally
Date: Welp, I gotta work in the morning
Date: Welp, I gotta work in the morning
October 18, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Me: Every sandwich is an open-face sandwich unless you consume it rectally
Date: Welp, I gotta work in the morning
Date: Welp, I gotta work in the morning
Reposted by Michael R
Switching to wintergreen gum as a little ex-spearmint
October 16, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Switching to wintergreen gum as a little ex-spearmint
Reposted by Michael R
“Enchanté,” I say, shaking your dog’s paw.
October 17, 2025 at 12:31 PM
“Enchanté,” I say, shaking your dog’s paw.
Reposted by Michael R
If I ever ran into a talking Gecko I'd stomp it into oblivion.
October 17, 2025 at 12:07 AM
If I ever ran into a talking Gecko I'd stomp it into oblivion.
Reposted by Michael R
[first day owning a puppy]
i will call him vincent
[second day owning a puppy]
where’s my widdle wincie winwin woowoo
i will call him vincent
[second day owning a puppy]
where’s my widdle wincie winwin woowoo
October 17, 2025 at 4:26 AM
[first day owning a puppy]
i will call him vincent
[second day owning a puppy]
where’s my widdle wincie winwin woowoo
i will call him vincent
[second day owning a puppy]
where’s my widdle wincie winwin woowoo
Reposted by Michael R
For the next couple weeks, I can skip cleaning my house and just call it Halloween decor.
October 16, 2025 at 5:25 PM
For the next couple weeks, I can skip cleaning my house and just call it Halloween decor.
Reposted by Michael R
Nice shirt. For a clown to wear. To the toilet store
October 16, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Nice shirt. For a clown to wear. To the toilet store
Reposted by Michael R
me: hey just checking in
void:
void:
October 15, 2025 at 9:16 PM
me: hey just checking in
void:
void:
Reposted by Michael R
dressing for the job I want
October 14, 2025 at 9:50 PM
dressing for the job I want
Reposted by Michael R
I would hate to fill my childhood and teenage years watching 30 second sound bites instead of getting absolutely obsessed with like 7 of the records I could afford
October 14, 2025 at 4:55 AM
I would hate to fill my childhood and teenage years watching 30 second sound bites instead of getting absolutely obsessed with like 7 of the records I could afford
Reposted by Michael R
Oops I deleted slack and outlook and threw my computer in a ditch
October 14, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Oops I deleted slack and outlook and threw my computer in a ditch
Reposted by Michael R
it feels so good to have showered
October 14, 2025 at 3:58 PM
it feels so good to have showered
Reposted by Michael R
Officially donned my cardigan so I wouldn’t catch a chill.
October 14, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Officially donned my cardigan so I wouldn’t catch a chill.
Reposted by Michael R
If we laid eggs like chickens, we'd be throwing them at each other constantly.
October 13, 2025 at 10:51 PM
If we laid eggs like chickens, we'd be throwing them at each other constantly.