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Damnit Janet

@damnitjanet.bsky.social

15K followers 1.5K following 10K posts

In my napping era Scottish and Queer | she/her My shitshow: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:t3dajzevhocfddfzczceizlp/feed/aaaoojl75k4ve

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Damnit Janet @damnitjanet.bsky.social · Aug 30

Seriously man I just- I- I fucking KNEW you didn't have my nose

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Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 12h

Alas, the hamburger needed more help than the box could provide.

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BooSlice👻🔪 @twosense.bsky.social · 11h

hear me out

an app that swipes your bra off

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 12h

Florida is wild. If you leave a room in your house empty for long enough, a Dollar General opens in there

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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 12h

She’s a ten but she’s whacked out on multiple nicotine patches.

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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 11h

Me to the fruit flies getting high on rubber cement:

OKAY. CRAFT HOUR IS WRAPPING UP. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME, BUT YOU CAN'T STAY HERE.

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 11h

my other cats after seeing this

a white dog looks like their soul left their body with a floating closeup image of same white dogs face

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Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 4h

Supplier: Our blowdryers have 2 settings—screaming banshee or old man wheezing

Hotelier: I'll take your whole inventory

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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 4h

🚨 THREE A.M. EMERGENCY TURKEY SANDWICH ALERT! IF YOU ARE RECEIVING THIS ALERT OBTAIN THE NEAREST TURKEY SANDWICH AND SHOVE IT IN YOUR FACE 🚨

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Hae Ji Cho @haejicho.bsky.social · 3h

Watching an oil splatter come towards your nice shirt in real time like a bullet to the chest

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 10h

my brain meat has gone off anyone wanna trade?

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 8h

"What does my vest say? Does it say somethin cool? I bet it says somethin cool."

German shepherd in a field wearing a bright yellow safety jacket/vest that says PLEASE IGNORE ME

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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 8h

My daughter has been in the professional world about a year and a half and I was talking to her about how her job is going. She told me she never knew anyone named Brian before and now she knows 8 people named Brian and 2 people named Doug.

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 8h

My 75 year old dad wants to talk to you about vape mods.

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Cap’n Watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 8h

Sorry I missed Canadian thanksgiving again. Sorry. Sorry. Anyway, sorry.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑInflatableWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 7h

I really want to know what you’re thinking.

*sharpens cranial saw*

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Electric Chimp @electricchimp.bsky.social · 7h

shoving a q-tip all the way through one ear and out the other, just to feel something

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 6h

Every morning "So what do you want out of today" just to feel okay sometimes, for having my eyes open "When do we want it? Now" no this isn't one of those "Great because now is only when you blink" it's a waking dream is it "Yep" okay cool

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 13h

I'm going to buy a dog and tell it all of my problems

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Damnit Janet @damnitjanet.bsky.social · 5h

Happy birthday yesterday doll!

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 16h

There once was a limerick at sonnetcon? Wow even poetry news is anarchy

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 17h

there's this video where this little kid is running down a hill, hits the side of a car, impact makes a huge sound, kid falls down, and yells, "i'm okay!"

so anyway, I'm okay. are you okay?

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Astr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 18h

I’m sorry God, but I met some Franciscan monks this weekend & lemme just say—all smokin hot. Idk if it was the overgrown beards, the St. Francis-ness, or all that brown in the fall, but I fell hard

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 1d

People say mucking foron like it's not how you harvest some extremely rare element from a swamp

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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 23h

Just made a lot of minestrone, a maxestrone in fact.

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Brick's 𝕳𝖆𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 House 🍁🎃 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 22h

Thank you for pointing out the logical fallacy in my fart joke

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