Author | Lightnews

Stabbatha Christy

@lovenlunchmeat.bsky.social

4.4K followers 730 following 430 posts

Sentient camera. I see things. Sometimes I tell jokes.

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Stabbatha Christy @lovenlunchmeat.bsky.social · Feb 22

My dog stares out the window like he's recreating a Joe Biden meme.

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Uffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 1d

My toxic trait is I think people care the same way I do.

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 2d

Can’t wait to use my extra hour tomorrow for depression napping like God intended.

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Brick's House 🍁 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 2d

Lost another fight with my stove clock

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 2d

You don’t get a body like mine by sitting around on the couch. You also have to eat tons of junk food.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 1d

I live in mortal fear of mispronouncing pecan in public.

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Stabbatha Christy @lovenlunchmeat.bsky.social · 2d

No, not really

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DB 🇨🇦 @rebelliousdb.bsky.social · 2d

"Are you okay today? You haven't posted a tree photo."

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 20d

That Halloween party where I dressed up as Godzilla, got a little drunk, broke into the miniature golf course and beat up the little windmill.

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 5d

sometimes i wonder why people do the things they do then i remember they’re people and wonder no more

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 6d

The indisposed life, first to be barged in upon, last to be firstly lightly knocked at. Never barely tapped or whispered not a moment to itself. Is this your card sorry I won't do that, magic won't do that

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Stabbatha Christy @lovenlunchmeat.bsky.social · 4d

I KNOW. It's every year. I'm overwatering or I'm underwatering, but either way they're dead 😫😫

Stabbatha Christy @lovenlunchmeat.bsky.social · 4d

It's okay if all your potted mums die before Halloween. You're not a plant killer, you're just adding to the spooky vibe. GREAT JOB!

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Mulva 2.0 @mulva74.bsky.social · 11d

Your guess is as good as mine. Except that one. Also, that one. Are you even trying?

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Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 10d

I’m not trying to get under your skin. I dissolve on contact.

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · Oct 3

If someone dies it's ok to not cry about that and just find 100 other things to cry about each day like omg this light has turned red because it is hateful *sobs* what a hateful world, and so on

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 19d

reverse cowgirl, so we can solve this Scooby-Doo! mystery together

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Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 18d

Everyone you meet today could have a positive impact on your life so for the love of god, people, stay home

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Stace Fiction @girlawhirl.bsky.social · 25d

A merry-go-round is just a Lazy Susan for kids.

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lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 24d

If sitting at your kitchen table slightly drunk, watching the sunset, and listening to those old songs that meant something is wrong, then I don't want to be right

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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 23d

What other people think of you is none of your business

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 23d

there's this video where this little kid is running down a hill, hits the side of a car, impact makes a huge sound, kid falls down, and yells, "i'm okay!"

so anyway, I'm okay. are you okay?

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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · Oct 3

My stripper name would be Frightens the Horses.

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Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · Oct 5

I don’t hold grudges, just a few people in my basement.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · Oct 2

If I loved you in elementary school then I would just happen to bring some extra newspaper articles for a current events assignment in case you forgot yours as you did and still you married somebody else. I would again too, but platonically

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CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · Oct 2

When they insist you pick a side, choose homicide.

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