Lofi.witticisms.bat
@d4c3.bsky.social
Reposted by Lofi.witticisms.bat
it's 2025 and the gangly guy who appeared on a few seasons of The Office is now our only mirror to society
December 9, 2025 at 9:21 PM
it's 2025 and the gangly guy who appeared on a few seasons of The Office is now our only mirror to society
Reposted by Lofi.witticisms.bat
I'm trying to feel younger by making silly mistakes at the workplace.*
*the real reason is that I'm overworked and tired.
*the real reason is that I'm overworked and tired.
December 9, 2025 at 6:11 AM
I'm trying to feel younger by making silly mistakes at the workplace.*
*the real reason is that I'm overworked and tired.
*the real reason is that I'm overworked and tired.
Reposted by Lofi.witticisms.bat
Sorry I can't go out tonight. I'm at home sitting down.
December 1, 2025 at 8:22 AM
Sorry I can't go out tonight. I'm at home sitting down.
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I need to journey deep into a haunted wood about this
November 20, 2025 at 6:53 AM
I need to journey deep into a haunted wood about this
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Ok y'all I'm going to saw myself in half. Now watch closely bc i can only do this once
November 21, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Ok y'all I'm going to saw myself in half. Now watch closely bc i can only do this once
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muppet starship troopers could fix us
November 21, 2025 at 3:54 AM
muppet starship troopers could fix us
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I'm also from Something Awful and I act normal
i still have that fucker blocked, but: stancil will take the entirely opposite position he is now anywhere from "tomorrow" to "next year". he will do all sorts of semantics shit to say why these are not contradicting beliefs. please remember he's a former Something Awful guy who got dunked on a lot.
November 19, 2025 at 9:02 PM
I'm also from Something Awful and I act normal
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oh is it men's day? i didn't notice because i'm too busy listening to women
November 19, 2025 at 8:29 PM
oh is it men's day? i didn't notice because i'm too busy listening to women
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hey what if i use a machine that can't do math to help with my taxes
November 18, 2025 at 6:47 PM
hey what if i use a machine that can't do math to help with my taxes
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(garbage bag rips open sending a torrent of bathwater rushing down the driveway)
(texting my friend) dude great call re: throwing baby out separate
(texting my friend) dude great call re: throwing baby out separate
November 19, 2025 at 1:57 AM
(garbage bag rips open sending a torrent of bathwater rushing down the driveway)
(texting my friend) dude great call re: throwing baby out separate
(texting my friend) dude great call re: throwing baby out separate
Reposted by Lofi.witticisms.bat
mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one
NEW: When Andrew Tate landed in the US, Customs & Border Protection seized his electronic devices. But @propublica.org found that a White House official told DHS to return the devices, emphasizing that the request came from the White House.
By @robert-faturechi.bsky.social & Avi Asher-Schapiro
By @robert-faturechi.bsky.social & Avi Asher-Schapiro
The White House Intervened on Behalf of Accused Sex Trafficker Andrew Tate During a Federal Investigation
Federal authorities were chided for seizing electronic devices from Tate and his brother, and told to return them, records and interviews show. Experts said the intervention was highly inappropriate.
www.propublica.org
November 18, 2025 at 1:10 PM
mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one
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group psychosis update ⁉️
November 15, 2025 at 9:56 PM
group psychosis update ⁉️
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These just write themselves now.
November 15, 2025 at 1:24 AM
These just write themselves now.
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everyone gets so mad at the mods here for doing basic mod shit. sometimes you gotta make a little murder joke and eat a three day ban for it. that’s life baby, there’s beauty in that.
November 14, 2025 at 5:13 PM
everyone gets so mad at the mods here for doing basic mod shit. sometimes you gotta make a little murder joke and eat a three day ban for it. that’s life baby, there’s beauty in that.
Reposted by Lofi.witticisms.bat
KEEP HONKING
I'M LISTENING TO
THE HONEYED LIES
OF MY TREACHEROUS VIZIER
I'M LISTENING TO
THE HONEYED LIES
OF MY TREACHEROUS VIZIER
November 14, 2025 at 4:15 AM
KEEP HONKING
I'M LISTENING TO
THE HONEYED LIES
OF MY TREACHEROUS VIZIER
I'M LISTENING TO
THE HONEYED LIES
OF MY TREACHEROUS VIZIER
Reposted by Lofi.witticisms.bat
After ditching Net 0 the Liberal Party has become the thing they fear most — a minority.
November 13, 2025 at 6:10 AM
After ditching Net 0 the Liberal Party has become the thing they fear most — a minority.
Reposted by Lofi.witticisms.bat
Okay, that's a good start. Now release the Kelly Rowland Excel Spreadsheets.
November 13, 2025 at 9:46 AM
Okay, that's a good start. Now release the Kelly Rowland Excel Spreadsheets.
Reposted by Lofi.witticisms.bat
pivoting to reading War and Peace one six-second Vine at a time
November 13, 2025 at 9:00 PM
pivoting to reading War and Peace one six-second Vine at a time
Reposted by Lofi.witticisms.bat
no no the toymaker is geppetto pinocchio is geppetto’s monster
November 13, 2025 at 9:17 AM
no no the toymaker is geppetto pinocchio is geppetto’s monster
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VOICEOVER: in the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet entirely opposite, groups: the police, who are afraid of sandwiches, and sandwich wielders, armed with food consisting of two pieces of bread filled with meat, cheese, and vegetables. these are their stories.
November 5, 2025 at 10:58 PM
VOICEOVER: in the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet entirely opposite, groups: the police, who are afraid of sandwiches, and sandwich wielders, armed with food consisting of two pieces of bread filled with meat, cheese, and vegetables. these are their stories.
Reposted by Lofi.witticisms.bat
Jeffrey Epstein sitting in Professor X's Cerebro helmet to locate every sex offender on the planet and broadcast to them a single global telepathic pulse that says "i,,m the .email pedaphole"
November 13, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Jeffrey Epstein sitting in Professor X's Cerebro helmet to locate every sex offender on the planet and broadcast to them a single global telepathic pulse that says "i,,m the .email pedaphole"
Reposted by Lofi.witticisms.bat
genuinely very few things more satisfying than reading the kinds of emails rich and famous people send each other
November 13, 2025 at 3:47 AM
genuinely very few things more satisfying than reading the kinds of emails rich and famous people send each other
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Donald Trump gets through a lot of boos for a teetotaller.
November 11, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Donald Trump gets through a lot of boos for a teetotaller.
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There is no winning. Read a book in public, you get accused of being performative. Don't read a book in public, Joyce Carol Oates says you are a human shell with no inner life. 😞
November 11, 2025 at 8:26 AM
There is no winning. Read a book in public, you get accused of being performative. Don't read a book in public, Joyce Carol Oates says you are a human shell with no inner life. 😞