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Juiceticles

@juiceticles.bsky.social

4.7K followers 850 following 1.4K posts

Carpenter by day, shadow puppet prodigy by night bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabbu3r6cxpi

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Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · Dec 31

If I were a woman, I would ride Sam Elliott's mustache into the sunset.

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 1d

bluesky is where one goes to stay up to date on current events if you like your daily news dripping with sarcasm and maybe some fondue

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Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 4h

Sorry I can’t come to your wedding. That’s the weekend I’ve scheduled to blow pet safe bubbles to my kitten.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 2d

All the beauty and wonder of a flaming dumpster.

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Pandy Fackler 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · Jun 26

If I say something happened "the other day" that can mean any time between 1990 and yesterday

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💀Tombkick💀 @doomkick.com · 21d

She's a 10, but she's a construct of your Green Lantern Power Ring.

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 1d

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking please explain.

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Pookleblinky @pookleblinky.bsky.social · 6d

When bluesky dies the true shitposters will simply return to the forest and whisper their thoughts at wildlife

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Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 1d

Whenever you feel alone remember that there are a lot of people in your life that can barely tolerate you but they do anyway

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(spoo)key 👻 @kmillz.lol · 13h

a dick tattoo that reads “biisrth” when it’s soft but “biiiiiiiig stretch” when it’s hard

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 2d

it's okay to have fun during spooky month even if you're having a whole spooky life

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 2d

Wild that Jennifer Jason Lee has a whole ass Jason in her name.

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 1d

it's called a fleshlight because jack-o-lantern was taken

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Chames @overlooked237.bsky.social · 1d

Ernest Goes To Town (on that ass)

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Damnit Janet @damnitjanet.bsky.social · 17h

Calling my phone company to complain that my predictive text needs to wash its mouth out with soap

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 22h

Campaigning to be the democratic socialist mayor of Margaritaville

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TheSocioPhi @thesociophi.bsky.social · 1d

I hate people.

And I say that knowing full well that I am, in fact, a people.

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Los 🥑 @los-los.bsky.social · 20h

Roman doctors be like:
HE NEEDS A 4, STAT

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 19h

Remember that time when everything was perfect for about 20 minutes?

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Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 14d

neighbor: “thought you were going on vacation?”

me: *holds up half a bag of shrooms* “I did”

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 21h

He died doing what he loved: rollerblading into oncoming traffic.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 21h

Smiling even though you’re dead inside.

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 🔪👻 @professorkiosk.wtf · 20h

despite appearances I really am quite insufferable

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Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 19h

😆

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 23h

how many apps do i have to flip through to see god

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