Fumblefingers Magee
@fumblefingersmagee.bsky.social
My brain is a burlap sack full of angry squirrels fighting to the death for the last piece of bacon.
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
I love how meditation is just "sit down and shut the fuck up. That's not good enough, shut your brain up too. You know what, stop wanting things, you piece of shit"
February 1, 2026 at 2:00 PM
I love how meditation is just "sit down and shut the fuck up. That's not good enough, shut your brain up too. You know what, stop wanting things, you piece of shit"
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
January 2026 was a significant month in that it was 15 weeks long, and almost all of the days making up those weeks were Mondays.
January 31, 2026 at 3:42 PM
January 2026 was a significant month in that it was 15 weeks long, and almost all of the days making up those weeks were Mondays.
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
The Trumps are out of control. Four journalists have been arrested by Donald, and almost as many moviegoers are being tortured by Melania.
January 30, 2026 at 7:50 PM
The Trumps are out of control. Four journalists have been arrested by Donald, and almost as many moviegoers are being tortured by Melania.
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
Some women in Salem avoided the gallows by entering the witchless protection program.
January 30, 2026 at 5:09 PM
Some women in Salem avoided the gallows by entering the witchless protection program.
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
This day in history. 1933. The Nazi era began with the appointment of Adolf Hitler as German chancellor. I'm sure the ballroom will be finished in time for the centennial.
January 30, 2026 at 10:06 AM
This day in history. 1933. The Nazi era began with the appointment of Adolf Hitler as German chancellor. I'm sure the ballroom will be finished in time for the centennial.
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
thought I was passing a kidney stone but nah, it’s just january.
January 29, 2026 at 3:34 PM
thought I was passing a kidney stone but nah, it’s just january.
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
Imagine if January wasn't simply 4000 years of darkness in a trenchcoat
January 29, 2026 at 4:43 PM
Imagine if January wasn't simply 4000 years of darkness in a trenchcoat
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
How is this still the same month that started with me thinking hey maybe this year will be better
January 29, 2026 at 8:24 AM
How is this still the same month that started with me thinking hey maybe this year will be better
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
You had sex with a clown?
Well that's just fucking funny.
Well that's just fucking funny.
August 4, 2025 at 6:51 PM
You had sex with a clown?
Well that's just fucking funny.
Well that's just fucking funny.
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
My sister just sent me this and I'm still kind of picking myself up off the floor
My Name is John Daker - BEST VERSION w/ SUBTITLES
YouTube video by Justin Kintzel
youtu.be
January 25, 2026 at 9:11 PM
My sister just sent me this and I'm still kind of picking myself up off the floor
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
Hi, it's God. Sorry I missed your call because I'm everywhere but I'll get back to you, maybe in strangely fitting words from a coworker or a dog's smile
January 6, 2026 at 3:49 PM
Hi, it's God. Sorry I missed your call because I'm everywhere but I'll get back to you, maybe in strangely fitting words from a coworker or a dog's smile
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
“A little help here, Danny?”
January 24, 2026 at 2:13 PM
“A little help here, Danny?”
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
It's important to choose joy so I got a new shower curtain
January 22, 2026 at 2:56 AM
It's important to choose joy so I got a new shower curtain
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
Your inner demons feed on words left unspoken.
January 21, 2026 at 9:23 PM
Your inner demons feed on words left unspoken.
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
why is it called a microwave oven if the food comes out the same size
January 18, 2026 at 6:21 PM
why is it called a microwave oven if the food comes out the same size
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
The best sponge I have ever used!!
- a wringing endorsement
- a wringing endorsement
January 21, 2026 at 2:51 PM
The best sponge I have ever used!!
- a wringing endorsement
- a wringing endorsement
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
sometimes self-care includes being oblivious
January 20, 2026 at 12:25 PM
sometimes self-care includes being oblivious
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
gave my horse some hellmann's and now it mayoneighs
January 18, 2026 at 10:03 PM
gave my horse some hellmann's and now it mayoneighs
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
DOJ investigating whether Denmark lied on its Greenland mortgage.
January 17, 2026 at 6:23 PM
DOJ investigating whether Denmark lied on its Greenland mortgage.
The fine folks at the Smithsonian Natural History Museum really should be more careful with their signage.
But I totally did.
But I totally did.
January 17, 2026 at 9:28 PM
The fine folks at the Smithsonian Natural History Museum really should be more careful with their signage.
But I totally did.
But I totally did.
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
Marriage: To have and to hold.
Divorce: To hold onto half.
Divorce: To hold onto half.
January 14, 2026 at 1:01 PM
Marriage: To have and to hold.
Divorce: To hold onto half.
Divorce: To hold onto half.
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
You know that accomplished, joyful feeling when you eat the last slice of pizza and then remember you live alone?
January 13, 2026 at 1:17 AM
You know that accomplished, joyful feeling when you eat the last slice of pizza and then remember you live alone?
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
anyone else notice how a disproportionate number of people who look as if they were extruded from a tube of pink slime seem to be running things these days or just me
January 10, 2026 at 6:47 PM
anyone else notice how a disproportionate number of people who look as if they were extruded from a tube of pink slime seem to be running things these days or just me
Reposted by Fumblefingers Magee
things I’ve thrown:
out my back
good money after bad
tantrums
myself at someone
a monkey wrench into the works
a curveball
someone off balance
in the towel
caution to the wind
a drink in someone’s face
my life away
out my back
good money after bad
tantrums
myself at someone
a monkey wrench into the works
a curveball
someone off balance
in the towel
caution to the wind
a drink in someone’s face
my life away
January 11, 2026 at 1:47 AM
things I’ve thrown:
out my back
good money after bad
tantrums
myself at someone
a monkey wrench into the works
a curveball
someone off balance
in the towel
caution to the wind
a drink in someone’s face
my life away
out my back
good money after bad
tantrums
myself at someone
a monkey wrench into the works
a curveball
someone off balance
in the towel
caution to the wind
a drink in someone’s face
my life away