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marlebean.bsky.social
Marloween
@marlebean.bsky.social
11K followers 1.6K following 1.9K posts
If you innocently act like you don't know, people will explain dirty words to you and it's hilarious. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7ehz6ygwahh2y3lgk7dq3xs2/feed/aaacgqxvtud72
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marlebean.bsky.social
Marloween @marlebean.bsky.social · 1d
My husband bought a giant Costco size bag of sugary candy for Halloween instead the chocolatey bag...
Why does he hate me so much?!
3 4 27
Reposted by Marloween
girlawhirl.bsky.social
Stace Fiction @girlawhirl.bsky.social · Jun 30
With the amount of hairs falling out of my head daily, it's amazing I haven't been implicated in any local crime scenes.
37 81 710
Reposted by Marloween
coolnessinc.bsky.social
Matt @coolnessinc.bsky.social · 1d
Took a social media break thinking I was doomscrolling too much.

Turns out the doom is everywhere, so I came back. At least here there are memes.
1 9
Reposted by Marloween
stewnami.bsky.social
Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 1d
The real friends were the farts we trusted along the way
1 5
Reposted by Marloween
twinsurvivalist.bsky.social
Twin Dad But SpoOooOky @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · 1d
*gets out of bed*

Parkour!
8 39
Reposted by Marloween
titsmcdick.bsky.social
Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 1d
I bet an octopus would be really good at moon walking if they just applied themselves.
3 14 50
Reposted by Marloween
mrsjparker.bsky.social
Jennifer Parker @mrsjparker.bsky.social · 1d
5yo: Mommy, there’s hair on your arm.

Me: Yep.

5yo: You’re turning into Dad.
2 17
Reposted by Marloween
benedictsred.bsky.social
Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 1d
Rob! Rob, it’s Marvin! Your cousin, Marvin Zombie!
10 78 430
Reposted by Marloween
hatesnicethings.bsky.social
Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 1d
It’s like ten thousand apps when all you need is a hobby.
1 33 78
Reposted by Marloween
lisabug.bsky.social
lisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · 1d
You can't spell pharmaceutical without UTI.
6 18 86
Reposted by Marloween
blairloudly.bsky.social
Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 1d
hanging on by a thread sounds way too cute and diy for what it feels like
2 37 97
Reposted by Marloween
sentientbunnysuit.bsky.social
Sentient Bunnysuit @sentientbunnysuit.bsky.social · 1d
If you were to get a better dog it'd be called a pupgrade but the problem with that is all dogs are already the best.
3 7
Reposted by Marloween
bornmiserable.bsky.social
born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 1d
19TH CENTURY ENGLISH PROVERB: may you live in interesting times
ME, IN 2025: first of all, fuck you
4 76 290
Reposted by Marloween
daddyjew.bsky.social
DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 1d
Coworker: is this AI? *shows me a video of MLK issuing the Stone Cold Stunner to The Undertaker before flicking him off*

Me: no, that happened
12 72
Reposted by Marloween
monotoes.bsky.social
Toes @monotoes.bsky.social · 1d
Sometimes I look back at when life was simpler, like when the apps on my phone automatically updated.
1 1
Reposted by Marloween
verucas-alt.bsky.social
Veruca's Alt @verucas-alt.bsky.social · 1d
I like it really hard in the morning...

my sudoku, that is.
3 4 34
Reposted by Marloween
granitedhuine.bsky.social
Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 23h
Panic attacks are jazz hands for the soul.
2 18 67
Reposted by Marloween
bestestname.bsky.social
Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · 22h
Wanting a Nobel Peace Prize is the most insane thing he's ever done, and that's saying a lot
4 2 24
Reposted by Marloween
dopeshow.bsky.social
captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 22h
Making direct eye contact with both my urinal neighbours to say "I'm ambidextrous"
2 9 25
Reposted by Marloween
gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 💤 @gupton68.bsky.social · 22h
I just managed to fall asleep standing up so don’t tell me men don’t know how to multitask.
31 70
Reposted by Marloween
cygnus5.bsky.social
Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 22h
Marriage is looking for something of yours your husband moved while he asks you where something else is.
1 2
Reposted by Marloween
artfromonline.bsky.social
Art, from Online @artfromonline.bsky.social · 22h
Never meat your gyros.
1 4 14
Reposted by Marloween
21stcenturyeric.bsky.social
Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 22h
My eyeglasses are held together by the tiniest possible amount of screw, exactly like my marriage was.
2 7 23
marlebean.bsky.social
Marloween @marlebean.bsky.social · 21h
🔪
1 1
marlebean.bsky.social
Marloween @marlebean.bsky.social · 21h
🤢
1
marlebean.bsky.social
Marloween @marlebean.bsky.social · 1d
My husband bought a giant Costco size bag of sugary candy for Halloween instead the chocolatey bag...
Why does he hate me so much?!
3 4 27